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Archive for the ‘Citizen’s Desk Reference’ Category

CDR: Conservo-Rectal Cancer

October 11, 2019 Leave a comment

A debilitating disease of the will caused by the metastasis of cancer cells from the rectum to the brain from having one’s head stuck up the ass. Victims die a long lingering death, sometimes in office, but most often in the political hospice known as punditry. Upon death, they are buried with their principles in tact.

See also GOPesophageal Reflux Disease, RINOplasty, Spina Polibifida



CDR: Universitorienteritis

August 16, 2019 Leave a comment

Universitorienteritis is the inflammation of small minds within an academic environment.  It is most commonly caused by undercooked food for thought contaminated with ideologenic microbes such as Bacillus Marxis, Diversitatia, Equalinella, Genderidium, Justica Socious, and Revovirus. Symptoms include delirium, emotional cramping, mental dehydration, and mob fever. Treatment with measured doses of reality is the most common and effective cure.

See also, AngeurysmEconoenteritis, Revovirus

CDR: Gendiarrhea

July 19, 2019 Leave a comment

Gendiarrhea is the condition of excess gender fluidity exhibited by having three or more sexual identification choices offered on a form used to gather personal information. It often persists in social media and government bureaucracies and can result in dehydration of common sense.  Signs of dehydration often begin with loss of rationality and irritable behaviour. This can progress to decreased procreation, entropy of ethical norms, mental rigor mortis, and a decrease in social responsiveness as it becomes more severe.

The most common cause is an infection of the educational bowels due to either an ideological virus, political bacteria, or social sciences parasites—a condition also known as universitorienteritis. These infections are often acquired from textbooks or lectures that have been contaminated by feces, or directly from another person who is infected.

See also, Angeurysm, Demphysema, Necrotizing Polititis, Revovirus

CDR: Twitourette Syndrome

July 5, 2019 1 comment

Twitourette Syndrome is a common neurosocial disorder with onset in adolescence, characterized by multiple social media tics. These tics characteristically wax and wane, can be suppressed temporarily, and are typically preceded by an unwanted urge or sensation. Some common tics are tweets, Facebook posts, Instagram pics, blog posts, YouTube videos, and memes.

Twitourette’s is defined as part of a spectrum of social media disorders, which includes political, cultural, and ethnic (racial) tics. Tics are often unnoticed by casual social media users and are typically diagnosed by alert social justice warriors and trigger-sensitive snowflakes. While the exact cause is unknown, it is believed to involve a combination of ideological and emotional imbalance factors.

In most cases, medication for Twitourette Syndrome is not necessary, but often recommended. Re-education, public shaming, deplatforming, boycotting, censorship, and banishment into the cyberspace equivalent of leper colonies are the most common treatments, particularly for sufferers deemed “politically incorrect.”

U.S. President Donald Trump is often cited as the most famous person exhibiting Twitourette Syndrome. He has yet to seek professional help for his condition.

CDR: Gendiarrhea

June 7, 2019 Leave a comment

Gendiarrhea is the condition of excess gender fluidity exhibited by having three or more sexual identification choices offered on a form used to gather personal information. It often persists in social media and government bureaucracies and can result in dehydration of common sense. Signs of dehydration often begin with loss of rationality and irritable behaviour. This can progress to decreased procreation, entropy of ethical norms, mental rigor mortis, and a decrease in social responsiveness as it becomes more severe.

The most common cause is an infection of the educational bowels due to either an ideological virus, political bacteria, or social sciences parasites—a condition also known as universitorienteritis. These infections are often acquired from textbooks or lectures that have been contaminated by feces, or directly from another person who is infected.

See also:  Angeurysm, Demphysema, Revovirus

Psorielectorisis

May 10, 2019 Leave a comment

Psorielectorisis is a long-lasting autodemocratic disease characterized by patches of abnormal voters. These political patches are typically red, dry, itchy, and extremely irritable, causing general personal and organizational dysfunction.

Psorielectorisis varies in severity from small, localized bureaucratic patches to complete body politic coverage. Perceived psychiatric injury and imagined social injustices can especially trigger psorielectorisis mob changes in public spaces. Extreme cases are known as the Trump phenomenon.

See also, Necrotizing Polititis, Politanomaly Trichromacy, Revovirus

CDR: Polititosis

April 26, 2019 Leave a comment

Polititosis is a malodorous personality disorder found predominantly in persons who passionately purport to “serve the public,” especially in and about capitol buildings and government executive offices. In about 90% of genuine polititosis cases, the origin of the odor is in the mouth, typically manifesting itself in foul pronouncements regarding public policy, political opponents and the relative intelligence of the unsupportive segments of the electorate. Other factors may also contribute to the overall stink, including an abscessed conscience, unclean financial accounts, cognitive decay, and lesions on the soul.

The intensity of polititosis may vary depending upon the election cycle, typically intensifying just prior to the casting of ballots. The condition is thought to be aggravated by the hypoxia resulting from the rarified air found at the peak of the pedestals upon which sufferers place themselves.

The disease is propagated largely via Mainstream Media. There is no known cure and the condition has been known to persist into retirement and, in many cases, even beyond death.

See also:  Irritable Bureaucrat Syndrome, Necrotizing Polititis, E. poli

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