Lucifer’s Lexicon — Artificial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligence — The margarine of brain power.

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Lucifer’s Lexicon — Mainstream Media

Mainstream Media — a tragic waste of protoplasm and electrons.

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Lucifer’s Lexicon — Privacy

Privacy — With regards to government, a concept sacred in the bedroom and the womb, but non-existent in the bathroom.  See Gender, Sex

(Restroom Door Signs – Page 1 of 5)

The following are 58 gender options identified by ABC News:

• Agender
• Androgyne
• Androgynous
• Bigender
• Cis
• Cisgender
• Cis Female
• Cis Male
• Cis Man
• Cis Woman
• Cisgender Female
• Cisgender Male
• Cisgender Man
• Cisgender Woman
• Female to Male
• FTM
• Gender Fluid
• Gender Nonconforming
• Gender Questioning
• Gender Variant
• Genderqueer
• Intersex
• Male to Female
• MTF
• Neither
• Neutrois
• Non-binary
• Other
• Pangender
• Trans
• Trans*
• Trans Female
• Trans* Female
• Trans Male
• Trans* Male
• Trans Man
• Trans* Man
• Trans Person
• Trans* Person
• Trans Woman
• Trans* Woman
• Transfeminine
• Transgender
• Transgender Female
• Transgender Male
• Transgender Man
• Transgender Person
• Transgender Woman
• Transmasculine
• Transsexual
• Transsexual Female
• Transsexual Male
• Transsexual Man
• Transsexual Person
• Transsexual Woman
• Two-Spirit

Source:  http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/02/heres-a-list-of-58-gender-options-for-facebook-users/

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Fed Raid Shuts Down Local Business

MUDCAT FALLS — A SWAT team comprised of agents from the United States Department of Agriculture and the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission descended upon RK Meat Packing Company following up a complaint of discrimination and unfair business practices in violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Armed with statistics from the Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice and sworn affidavits from the Co-operative of Lesbian Agricultural Professionals, the search warrants served declared the company has a long history of purchasing a disproportionate percentage of livestock from non-LGBT farmers and ranchers.

“Nearly 10 percent of all same-sex couples in the United States live in rural areas,” explained Alicia Fingletart of CLAP. “Big Ag should not be allowed to bully us any more, so the government should force them to do business with us just like bakers and wedding photographers.”

RK Meat Packing of Pistol Creek Junction is one of the nation’s leading suppliers of hot dogs and beef products to public schools, universities, professional sports venues and convenience stores.

“The Office of the Assistant Secretary of Civil Rights, in collaboration with the National Center for Lesbian Rights and CLAP, is engaged with LGBT rural communities across the country to teach lesbian and transgender hillbillies how to get subsidies from the government,” the USDA said. “We are working hard to share information relating to policies, programs, and services that exist to protect, promote and strengthen LGBT rural communities.”

“We categorically deny any wrong doing,” said attorney Steve Dallas on behalf of RK Meat Packing. “I don’t care how many government subsidies a supplier gets, at the end of the day, they must be able to provide the products we need to nourish the nation—especially school children.”

Dallas rudely insinuated that CLAP farmers who elect to impose their personal lifestyles on their animal husbandry practices might not be able to grow their herds sufficiently to meet the nation’s insatiable taste for hot dogs and sausages.

“Gender identity” and “gender expression” are part of the USDA’s anti-discrimination policies.

All the Fits as News to Print

Serving Mudcat Falls Since 1854

www.mudcatfalls.com

Lucifer’s Lexicon — Social Media

Social Media — A digital mirage of humanity for those who obediently color inside the lines.

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Lucifer’s Lexicon — Candidate

Candidate— In politics, a self-proclaimed “can do” person who won’t once they have won election.

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PETA Protest “Crackers”?

PISTOL CREEK — Flush with victory over Feld Entertainment, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals picketed the Pistol Creek Walmart Store to protest the sale of animal crackers.

In March, after 145 years of featuring elephants in its circus acts, Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey announced that it will retire its elephant herd by 2018. A PETA press release claimed credit for overturning nearly two centuries of big top tradition.

“We have cut the head off the snake,” declared Hillary Hickums, President of the Mudcat Falls Chapter of the animal rights activist group, “and now we must reverse over a hundred years of corporate brainwashing of our children.”

Animal biscuit crackers have been made and distributed under the National Biscuit Company banner since the late 1800s. In 1902, animal crackers officially became known as “Barnum’s Animals” and evoked the familiar circus theme of the Barnum and Bailey Circus.

Hickums explained that “dangerous and destructive attitudes of human superiority” which are planted in young, impressionable minds lead to animal abuse in society and antithetical feelings towards vegans in general.

The cookie aisle in Walmart was ringed with counter protesters from a group identified as Cracker Lovers Against PETA.

“For crying out loud, who are these people who have nothing better to do than spoil everyone else’s fun?” asked an angry white woman, who identified herself as the leader of CLAP. “My kids love them and nobody’s going to mess with this momma bear’s cubs.”

Although largely peaceful, the demonstration was briefly interrupted when paramedics were called to treat a protester who fainted at the sight of a Walmart customer exiting the store eating a Slim Jim.

PETA is known for its “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” ad campaign.

All the Fits as News to Print

Serving Mudcat Falls Since 1854

www.mudcatfalls.com