Environmentalists Cool on the Lord’s Help for Global Warming

SAN FRANCISCO — A consensus of scientists and climate change activists have banded together to file a law suit against a Christian-based environmental group for co-opting their issue.

“There’s really no need to bring religion into this matter,” explained Sierra Goremundi, self-described Alpha Bitch of the local chapter of the Climate Liberation Action Politburo. “God and global warming just don’t mix. We can take care of the world just fine on our own.”

CLAP is suing another 501(c)3 group calling itself Conserving the Lord Almighty’s Planet for trademark and copyright infringement as well as theft of intellectual property. They have asked the Federal Ninth Circuit Court to issue an emergency injunction order to prevent the religious group from participating in this year’s Earth Day celebration.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth,” preached the Reverend Dr. Jackson Selma Montgomery, Jr., minister at the Southside Baptist Church, second generation local civil rights leader and founder of God-CLAP. “I’d say he’s involved.”

Montgomery began organizing prayer vigils and sermonizing during Earth Day celebrations, calling upon his god to heal the planet, which has caused Green-CLAP members understandable discomfort, since they tend to worship Gaia, the ancestral Mother Earth Goddess of all life, if any deity at all.

“Look, us liberals tolerate these people and give them their Sundays,” said Goremundi. “But April 22 is our day and maybe the planet would be better off without all their hot air.”

Earth Day is an annual worldwide event held on April 22 to demonstrate support for environmental protection. First celebrated in 1970, Earth Day now includes events in more than 193 countries, which are now coordinated globally by the Earth Day Network.

Local authorities are preparing for possible unrest at this year’s festival to be held in Poodle Island State Park.

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