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Climategate: More Smoking Emails

NORWICH — Forensic computer technicians, pouring through thousands of the so-called “Climategate” emails hacked from the servers of the Climatic Research Unit at the University of East Anglia, claim to have found the origins of the global warming crisis in a series of communications between Professor Phil Jones, Head of the CRU, and Dr. Moses Odiaka, Credit and Accounts Manager of the Union Bank of Nigeria.

“While most critics have focused on proving allegations of the scientists suppressing or falsifying data,” explained Virgil “Gus” Stokewillow, CCSI Team Leader, “we found a trail of emails which clearly demonstrates that the trading of carbon credits was originally conceived as an intricate scheme to divert unclaimed funds out of suspense accounts.”

Professor Jones declined to comment on Stokewillow’s assertions. No record exists of a Dr. Moses Odaika as an employee of the Union Bank of Nigeria or as a Nigerian citizen.

“What we can’t figure out is whether Jones was the mastermind behind this plot,” said Stokewillow, “or just another victim of a classic 419 fraud.”

Nigerian email fraud is a type of “advance fee” fraud, with an associated possibility of identity theft. Sometimes this type of fraud is called “419” fraud, after the underenforced section of the Nigerian criminal code which makes it illegal.

“The debate is over. The facts do not matter. The planet has a fever,” insisted former Vice-President, Nobel Peace Prize Winner and uber-environmentalist Al Gore. “I can feel the heat. Hallelujah, I feel the heat.”

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