Revovirus is the most common cause of intellectual diarrhea and cerebral cramping in university students worldwide, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Most college-aged individuals have had at least one bout with revovirus by their sophomore year.
Although revovirus infections are particularly unpleasant, you can treat most of them at home with parental involvement, application of a firm ethical and moral foundation and supplemental extracurricular education to prevent complete mental dehydration and delusion, which in extreme cases is manifested in public protest, rioting and revolution. Occasionally, severe revovirus dehydration requires extravenous fluids administered via fire hose, tear gas canister or pepper spray applicator. Revolution is a serious complication of revovirus and a major cause of citizen deaths in countries where revovirus has reached pandemic proportions.
Regular ingestion of historical facts and reality can sometimes help prevent revovirus infection. Chronic sufferers usually must be isolated from society, most often serving prison terms or quarantined as college professors.
See also Revolution, Che Guevara, Vladimir Lenin, Joseph Stalin, Mao Zedong, Occupy Wall Street, Arab Spring, Communism, Marxist, Leninism, Socialism, Redistribution of Wealth, Social Justice
Econoenteritis is marked by sometimes severe inflammation of the both the upper and lower economic tracts resulting in acute intellectual diarrhea, political vomiting and punditary flatulence. It can be transferred by contact with contaminated mainstream and social media. The inflammation is caused by infection from socialistic, communistic and Marxist values, their toxins, societal parasites or an adverse reaction to something in economic realities.
Econoenteritis often involves citizenry heartburn, political identify group cramping and public protest spasms. Although usually an acute and self-limited disease that does not require pharmacological therapy, if left untreated, Econoenteritis can lead to more serious societal ills, such as riots, revolution, anarchy, and tyranny, as well as the persecution of religious, ethnic, political and economic groups.
See also capitalism, socialism, communism, Marxism, class warfare, revolutions (French and Russian), the Reign of Terror, redistribution of wealth, Occupy Wall Street, Zuccati Park, Adbusters, anti-sematism, liberals, anarchists, nihilists, libertarians, environmentalists, et al
In Racial Keratotomy (RK), incisions are made with a precision calibrated liberal media into the character and reputation of a political opponent. It has been found that incisions that penetrate only superficially into policy positions are less effective than those reaching deep into long-cultivated collective societal white guilt, shame and abhorrent fear of ostracization. Consequently, incisions are made quite deep.
Loud and long chromatically epithelial accusations are known to cause an unsettling scattering of thought, will, and courage, often leading to political paralysis, blindness and abandonment of core principles. This can happen especially in situations like an election campaign, where the stark glare of kleig lights abounds. Increasing altitude and attitude also contribute to the rapidity and completeness of the loss of vision.
Racial Keratotomy is one of a number of procedures colloquially known as the “Death of a Thousand Cuts” or the “Scarlett N-word.”
See also Barack Hussein Obama, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, NAACP, PUSH, Rainbow Coalition, La Raza, CAIR, Liberals, Progressives, Democrats, Conservatives, Tea Party, Wag the Mongrel, Marquis de Sade, Hollywood, Mainstream Media, ad nauseum
Echobamaphasia is an acquired language disorder which is an impairment of speech wherein excessive reverb or echo effect emanates from the vocal chords. The exact origins of the malady are yet unknown, but a consensus of researchers believe it may be related to Narcissistic Personality Disorders, possibly exacerbated by Outcome Based Education programs. Although rare, it is most prevalent in public figures, particularly politicians, who often exhibit what is non-clinically called a “God Complex.” There is no known cure, though some patients have exhibited a remission of symptoms after a radical egoectomy.
This speech impediment is not to be confused with Lou Gehrig’s Disease.
See also Barack Obama, President, Politicians, Speeches, Teleprompter
Budgetosis is a term used to describe noticeably unpleasant odors exhaled during speeches, discussions, remarks, comments, press conference answers and Sunday news show appearances regarding government expenditures. Budgetosis has a significant impact — personally, socially and economically— on those individuals who fear and suffer the heartbreak of funding government (taxiphobia).
In most cases (85–90%), bad budget breath originates directly in the mouth itself, as no evidence of reflection, thought or contemplation can be evidenced in the words expelled or their meaning. The intensity of bad budget breath differs due to partisan position, the particulars of program funding and the targeted constituency group effected by any proposed spending change. Budgetosis may be transient, but most often occurs in Washington DC and state capitols, and usually intensifies during campaign seasons.
When left untreated, the anaerobic respiration of such budgetary verbal bacteria can yield either the putrescent smell of indole, skatole, polyamines, or the “rotten egg” smell of volatile sulfur compounds (VSCs) such as hydrogen sulfide, methyl mercaptan, Allyl methyl sulfide, and dimethyl sulfide.
Electorally severing and removing the offending tongue is often the only cure.
See also President, Congress, House of Representatives, Senate, Democrats, Republicans, Tea Party, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, HarryReid, Louise Slaughter, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Charles Schumer, Howard Dean, John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Paul Ryan, Million, Billion, Trillion, Quadrillion, Quintillion, Sextillion, ad naseum
Tonkinitis is caused by an international inflammation, typically of the civil war variety, which results in an irresistible foreign affairs itching leading to a military scratching by a U.S. President. Attempts at treatment are usually self-administered often without a second opinion and sometimes without Congressional consultation. The disorder usually devolves into a chronic recurring condition that varies in severity from minor localized skirmishes to complete regional coverage, in severe cases metastasizing to the political lymph nodes, where it may become terminal at the next election.
See also Police Action, Kinetic Military Operation, Gulf of Tonkin, USS Maddox Incident, Lyndon Baines Johnson, Vietnam, Harry Truman, Korea, Barrack Obama, Libya
Pain associated with organized labor disputes, contract negotiations, work stoppages and public demonstrations that, under normal conditions, increase in intensity, frequency, duration, volume and violence, culminating in social and physical discomfort, as well as economic contraction. Labor pain is often identified — correctly and incorrectly — as PMS (Pre-Marxism Syndrome). Unlike false labor pains or Davis-Bacon contractions — true labor contractions do not stop when you change your position or relax. Labor pain mostly occurs in the abdomen, the groin, and the wallet.
See also AFL-CIO, Andy Stern, Richard Trumka, Stephen Lerner, Air Line Pilots Association ALPA, Amalgamated Transit Union ATU, American Federation of Government Employees AFGE, American Federation of Musicians of the United States and Canada AFM, American Federation of School Administrators AFSA , American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees AFSCME, American Federation of Teachers AFT, American Federation of Television and Radio Artists AFTRA, American Postal Workers Union APWU, American Train Dispatchers Department ATDD, Associated Actors and Artistes of America (4As), Actors’ Equity Association AEA, American Guild of Musical Artists AGMA, American Guild of Variety Artists AGVA, The Guild of Italian American Actors GIAA, Screen Actors Guild SAG, Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers’ International Union BCTGM, Brotherhood of Railroad Signalmen BRS, California Nurses Association/ National Nurses Organizing Committee CAN/NNOC, California School Employees Association CSEA, Communications Workers of America CWA, Farm Labor Organizing Committee (FLOC), Federation of Professional Athletes/National Football League Players Association NFLPA, Glass, Molders, Pottery, Plastics and Allied Workers International Union GMP (gmpiu.org), International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees IATSE, International Association of Bridge, Structural, Ornamental and Reinforcing Iron Workers, International Association of Fire Fighters IAFF, International Association of Heat and Frost Insulators and Asbestos Workers, International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers IAM, International Brotherhood of Boilermakers, Iron Ship Builders, Blacksmiths, Forgers and Helpers, International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers IBEW, International Federation of Professional and Technical Engineers IFPTE, International Longshore and Warehouse Union ILWU, International Longshoremen’s Association ILA, International Plate Printers, Die Stampers and Engravers Union of North America, International Union of Allied Novelty and Production Workers, International Union of Bricklayers and Allied Craftworkers BAC, International Union of Elevator Constructors IUEC, International Union of Operating Engineers IUOE, International Union of Painters and Allied Trades IUPAT, International Union of Police Associations IUPA, Laborers’ International Union of North America LIUNA, Marine Engineers Beneficial Association MEBA, National Air Traffic Controllers Association NATCA, National Association of Letter Carriers NALC, Office and Professional Employees International Union OPEIU, Operative Plasterers’ and Cement Masons’ International Association OPCMIA, Seafarers International Union of North America SIU, Sheet Metal Workers International Association SMWIA, Transport Workers Union of America TWU, UNITE HERE, United American Nurses UAN, United Association of Journeymen and Apprentices of the Plumbing, Pipefitting and Sprinkler Fitting Industry of the United States and Canada UA, United Automobile, Aerospace & Agricultural Implement Workers of America International Union UAW, United Mine Workers of America UMWA, United Independent Technology Technicians of America UITTA, United Steel, Paper and Forestry, Rubber, Manufacturing, Energy, Allied Industrial and Service Workers International Union USW, United Transportation Union UTU, United Union of Roofers, Waterproofers and Allied Workers, Utility Workers Union of America UWUA, Writers Guild of America, East WGAE, CTW(The Change to Win Federation), International Brotherhood of Teamsters IBT, Service Employees International Union SEIU, United Farm Workers of America UFW, United Food and Commercial Workers UFCW, IndependentAircraft Mechanics Fraternal Association AMFA, Coalition of Graduate Employee Unions, Directors Guild of America DGA, Dramatists Guild of America, Fraternal Order of Police FOP,Independent Pilots Association IPA,International Union of Journeymen and Allied Trades IUJHAT, International Union Security * Police * Fire Professionals of America SPFPA, Jockeys’ Guild,Major League Baseball Players Association MLBPA,National Education Association NEA,National Emergency Medical Services Association (NEMSA), Programmers Guild,NHL Players Association,National Basketball Players Association, National Rural Letter Carriers Association NRLCA, National Treasury Employees Union NTEU, National Weather Service Employees Organization NWSEO, Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association PBA, Professional Lacrosse Players’ Association PLPA, Stage Directors and Choreographers Society SDC, United Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners of America UBC, United Electrical, Radio and Machine Workers of America UE, United Independent Technology Technicians Of America, US Airline Pilots Association USAPA, World Umpires Association, Writers Guild of America, WGA
Oscaroporosis (“porous bonehead”, from Greek: ὀστέον/oscaron meaning “bonehead” and πόρος/poros meaning “pore”) is a disease where a significant deterioration of the micro-architecture of a celebrity cerebral cortex occurs leading to a form of dementia wherein the individual exhibits an excruciatingly inaccurate expertise in areas of endeavor for which they have no experience, training or knowledge, including politics, economics, chemistry, climatology, science, religion, sociology, psychology, history and reality. Researchers speculate oscaroporosis results from chronic predisposing mental problems or diseases, acutely excessive public adulation and/or prolonged use of adult beverages and recreational drugs. There is no known cure, only eventual irrelevance.
See also Barbara Striesand, Janeane Garofalo, Bill Maher, Rosie O’Donnell, Sean Penn, Alec Baldwin, George Clooney, Mike Farrell, Susan Sarandon, Martin Sheen, Charlie Sheen, Ed Asner, Tim Robbins, Ashley Judd, Harry Belafonte, Ted Danson, Roseanne Barr, Jane Fonda, Ted Turner, Robert Redford, Ed Begley, Carlos Mencia, Matt Groening, Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi, P. Diddy, Richard Belzer, Cameron Diaz, Seth MacFarlane, ad naseum
Malignant Prioritization Neoplasm is a class of governmental cancer in which a group of elected officials suffering from a systemic failure of perspective, values and situational awareness intrude upon and destroy legitimate governmental functions, societal norms, economic prosperity and citizen rights. Radiation treatments and chemotherapy are ineffective and only an electoral doltectomy can relieve the infected body of these carcinomata.
See also Democrats, Senator, Congressman, Harry Reid, Cowboy Poetry, Trillion Dollar Plus Deficits, 9% Unemployment, $4.00 per Gallon Gasoline Prices, War in Afghanistan, Nuclear Proliferation in Iran and North Korea, Revolution in Egypt, Libya, Bahrain, Tunisia, Saudi Arabia, etc.
Murrowthelioma is a chronic media malignancy that most frequently arises from the cells lining the ego sac of journalists and mainstream media personalities, who presume, as members of the “Fourth Estate,” to shape the events of history and change the world, rather than engage and persevere in searching for and reporting the truth. Symptoms presented include a shortness of sight, a shallowness of thought, a blurring of reason and, often, an increasingly excessive vocal volume. As the disease progresses, integrity erodes, values atrophy and a character coma ensues, from which the sufferer may never awaken, though the personality may be kept alive on mainstream media life support for decades.
See also Edward R. Murrow, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, Mainstream Media, Walter Cronkite, Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Bernard Shaw, Katie Couric, Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow, Bill O’Reilly, Keith Olberman, Jon Stewart, Mike Wallace, Bob Schieffer, Sam Donaldson, Tim Russert, et al
